Yes!! The title says it all. I love when a blog surfaces out of the experiences of the life I am blessed to participate in. So,so many times I find myself discouraged by a circumstance and I get wrapped up in the darkness of it. I allow it to spill over into other activities and relationships that are good and healthy. It makes the waters muddy and causes my vision to become tainted. It is times like these that I step back and look asking myself – WHAT did “I” do to destroy or mess up that part of my life?
This round – I can’t say? I had my heart open, ready for communication. I received “I’m good” in return. Those that know me – know that I’m real. I’m straightforward. I’m ME. And I, in return, want that back. There are parts of me that has come from a deep struggle, pain from my past, that has made it difficult to trust. I do my best but there are times when these types of things happen, it’s the EXACT reason WHY I don’t trust. People can’t BE REAL!
I understand I HAVE FAULTS! Yep! Don’t tell my husband and kids that it’s in writing but I admit it. Regardless of what the title says – I don’t have it all together. I get kudos from many people who think just b/c I have 8 kids in my care that I have it ALL together. No – not even close……it’s by far, the grace of Jesus that takes me through each and every moment. I operate in an organized way b/c that is my sanity. I have chores for my children b/c we are a team. I need them and they need me. You know even now – I haven’t had a quiet time with Jesus in – well it’s long overdue and I am sure it was an open-door bathroom moment. That’s what I mean about being REAL. I don’t have to tell ya’all about it, but why not? Doesn’t mean Jesus and I don’t have a relationship – just means I’m not up to par on what I need to be up to par on. I need a come-to- Jesus meeting, preferably out of the bathroom!!
Fostering – BIG life changing moment that created our family on a journey that has changed every single one of us. Nine months now, Sept 9th, 2015 was the day that we brought 3 new siblings for our original 5 and meshed lives together. It wasn’t an easy thing. There has been pain, hurt, laughs, memories and so much more etched within our family unit. We have been introduced to a new world and society/culture in life. It has broken us, it has shown us the ugliness of ourselves and it has shown us how God sees us. It’s not a story that I would EVER want for a child. But it has given me new eyes. It has given me a perspective had I never put my hands and feet AND heart into this journey, I would not of had. Thank YOU Jesus.
There has been an overwhelming amount of blessings in our life this year. I can’t help but share them as I am sure some of you are wondering what the chicken-pecked is in the title for, hang on…. One of the blessings we received was when we had another couple in the church, hand us money to go out to dinner on them, while they watched the kids and fed them .
Just this past spring Randy and I took a class at FBCV where we attend. It was a Re:Engage class for married couples. Honestly when I first got in the group, I was critical (by nature, I am). I just wasn’t sure this group was the best one for us. But you know God so knows what we are thinking and he says in Ephesians 3:20 “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us” After one particular session our group leaders wanted to know how to help us as things had piled up and I was feeling particularly overwhelmed. I was talking to her how just couldn’t get much done as there was always a need and always someone asking me a question or needing something. She was yes, it was like getting chicken pecked. Instantly – it was a relief! Someone understood the constant barrage and attack that I many times felt like I was under. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel blessed. Deep, deep down – maybe if I was alone, I would feel it more – I knew that I was, but in the midst of the attack, I couldn’t see the positive in it. She sent a young adult who comes over two times a week to straighten up the house and unload some of the housework. We also have a couple from the group who has been over several times and played with the kids and been a valuable asset which releases me from the chicken pecking.
Just this past month, we as a family (yes, all 10 on a 6 hr road trip) have taken a trip to Missouri, for 3 days to meet up with my sister who lives in Reno, NV (and I don’t see but every few years). We were back one day and went into a week of VBS. This led us into Nathaniel and Isaiah going to Nashville, TN on a mission trip for a week, and within days of them getting home Randy and Sarah were off to church camp. We typically have weekly visitations for our extras, and have recently started swim lessons for the 4 younger ones 2 days a week. I have had several friends give me a hard time about caring about them anymore as I am doing good to complete a load of laundry some days. But I give no promises, as this is my mission field, and I can only be where God has called me.