Wow! What a ride life can sometimes bring. A couple weeks ago I went to the doctor after not feeling good for about 4 days. I had no voice and was not breathing full breaths of air. I was told that I was very sick! I had pneumonia and larynigitis. The doctor called my husband and told him he needed to take off work and I was to be on total bed rest. Yeah right! Isaiah was at the end of his treatment of pneumonia and Sarah & Silas had some ear troubles going on along with not feeling well. Randy and Nathaniel seemed to be the only “healthy” ones in the house. So of course I went home and went to bed (for a little bit). On Friday after getting showered and dressed for the day – had a spell where I couldn’t catch a full breath. It was scary! We threw the kids in the van and Randy took me to the hospital. There they gave me a breathing treatment and pumped me with an IV of antibiotics along with some oral antibiotics. I was released after xrays and being told I defnitely had pneumonia.
So back at home – trying to stay in bed and rest. My thoughts are intense as the doctor had told Randy that this could be lethal if it was not taken care of. So I immediately think of Ashley and what her thoughts might have been knowing that she was so sick but didn’t have the engery to speak. I think of all the things that I needed to do yet. In talking to my sister Elizabeth – she tells me that maybe God brought me to this place so that I could slow down and listen. Of course, we all need to take the time to listen to what God has to say to us. We get so caught up in living and going through the motions of the mundane things that we forget to focus on what is truly important.
Thinking about what I took away from this experience – I realize that I want to teach my children more bible verses. They are what I drew on during this time. I remember learning scripture in Sunday School while I was younger and how it has stuck with me. It is so very important because in the last days when we are stripped away of all that we have of physical Christianity we still have those verses that are embedded in our heart.
A couple verses that really stuck out to me was “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6. This verse made me think that just because I was down I needed to trust that he was in control and knew I was where I needed to be. I get wrapped up in trying to control my world around me and sometimes get out of line that HE is truly in control and I need to just trust him to take care of those things that I feel I need to care for. It allowed me to realize that there are people out there that want to help and because I want to take on the “Shera” attitude it puts them off wanting to step in. Being down humbled me, there wasn’t a meal that we missed, it didn’t take me to make sure that everyone got fed. The church people and family stepped in and brought dinner to our house so that I didn’t have that worry. Again, that brings another verse “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” Philippians 4:6. I couldn’t talk above a whisper and knew that with laying there I had all the time to worry – worry about how the kids were going to do with me not being up and around to make sure that they did what they were supposed to ( b/c I work on schedule and want them to eat around a certain time and go to bed at a certain time etc. as that is how I function). But I was shown that flexibility is something that I need to work on. It doesn’t matter if they went to bed 10 minutes later than usual – they made it there. If they didn’t eat right at 5:00, there may have been a meltdown but it wasn’t going to kill them. I laid there and prayed much, knowing that God had it under control and he knows our hearts desires. I couldn’t truly worry about the house closing and getting things packed to move and worry about where we were going to move to because it didn’t accomplish anything and if I just prayed I felt that I was taking it to God and moving it out of my “worry box” and into his “I care about you and will work this out for you box”. I was giving him back control from where I was trying to take it and make it work with my feeble abilities. And always when I really need to hear that I can’t do it on my own these words play in my head.
“The battle’s not mine,” said Little David,
“Lord, it’s Thine, I’m in Your favor.
I’m giving it all to You, I knew not what to do.
I’m so glad You let me see, You’re really all that I need.
For the battle’s not mine, I give it to You, Lord, it’s Thine.”
1. Little David looked so small, Goliath looked so tall,
The odds were just too high for Little David.
So he shook off all of his load for with the power of God he was bold,
He said, “The battle’s not mine, I give it to You, Lord, it’s Thine.”
2. A Little David he stood tall, now Goliath seemed so small,
Sweet victory had reigned for Little David.
He gave the battle to One with a record for getting things done,
He said, “The battle’s not mine, I give it to You, Lord, it’s Thine.”
These verses and the song I feel are God speaking to me in his ever gentle way reminding me that he cares for Me and wants the best for me. I just have to take these lessons and apply them to my life.
I went back to the hospital last Saturday evening because I still didn’t feel very good and was having trouble breathing deep and constant rib/back pain. I finally had my voice back after a week and some days of not being able to talk (sometimes God teaches us that listening is better than talking 🙂 and they had xrays that were taken a week after my initial diagnosis – it showed that I still had pneumonia, it was receeding but still there. I was put on another antibiotic and some given pain medication to help with the rib/back discomfort. They had said that had I been an older person I would have been put in the hospital for sure and may not have made it b/c of the level of pneumonia. That is an awakening to know that your life can be snuffed out without you having time to prepare for death in the sense of getting things in order. To know that I have been given more opportunity to “let my light so shine” and to teach my children the scriptures, to wrap them in the prescense of God was so more important than struggling with where we are going to live and how to make sure that the kids school supplies were ready. All that is meaningless because it is our destination that matters – going to Heaven. The rest is something that I can leave in the hands of an Almighty God because he is in control.
This finds me feeling much better and back on the road to recovery. The boys have started school here in Huber where they attended last year. We have closed on our house that we are living in and have a contract on one in Vandalia . We will move the boys to that school when we get settled in the house fully. I only have 1 box packed 🙂 but know that it will get done. I just have to focus on the important things and the rest will fall into place. Keep us in your prayers as we undertake this moving process. The house that we are hoping to buy requires lots of updates but will be quite sufficient in space for our family. Thank you for your prayers in my recovery. Isaiah will be going for his tonsillectomy, ear tubes and adnoid removal on Wed. and will be out for 8-10 days. We pray that this will be a smooth process.