Merry Christmas 2011

Greetings from the Adkins’s home.  We are closing out the year of 2011 with lots of positive things that have we have been blessed with this year.  One of our best blessings was Lydia Dawn, our little girl born on June 20, 2011.  Lydia is our 3rd redhead.  She is typical of our redheads with her laid back, fun-loving personality.  She is such a sweet, sweet child and brings much joy to our lives.  She is gaining new skills everyday as she is working on sitting up by herself and can roll across the room with great precision.  She currently has two teeth and working on several others.  She will be starting cereal soon and then we will venture in the food realm around 8 months of age (meaning baby fruits and vegetables).  Her brothers and sister are a great amusement to her and she loves for them to talk to her, which they do frequently.

Silas is looking toward celebrating his 4th birthday on Dec. 27th.  He has grown so much this past year and we are so excited about his success in potty training.  He is learning a great deal, especially from Sarah as she shares what she learns from kindergarten.  He is quite the eater and pancakes are his favorite ANY time of the day.  He is such a sweet child that is full of love and has a great fondness for cars of any type.  He can frequently be found playing with cars by himself.

Sarah who turned 5 on August 18th and started kindergarten shortly afterwards is doing well in school.  She is learning to read and has “homework” many nights.  She is definitely daddy’s girl and uses it to her advantage as much as she can get by with.  She teeters between being a girly girl and a tomboyish girl.  I call her Florence Nightingale as she is very quick to be the first to nurture anyone who is hurt or needs attention.  She LOVES to help take care of Lydia and jumps at any chance that enables her to do so.  When asked what she wants to be when she grows up she goes between being a princess or a server.  We love her caring nature and can’t believe how much she has grown up.

Isaiah, who turned 8 on July 27th started 3rd grade this year and is doing well.  He has many female friends and loved by many people in his world.  He is full of spirit and lets us know exactly how he is feeling at any given moment.  Sensitive in nature, Isaiah is quick to help out with the little ones and especially enjoys holding and caring for Lydia.  He played his 2nd season of soccer in the fall and has progressed greatly from where he was.  His favorite pastime is playing video games and with Legos.  He is very creative in nature and cracks us up with his bursts of comedy.

Nathaniel turned 10 on July 6th.  We can’t believe we have a 5th grader!!  We are so proud of who Nathaniel has become.  He is sensitive and has a huge heart.  He is typically willing to help out when needed and is a great help in so many areas.  He loves to cook and wants to be a chef when he gets older.  Nathaniel is looking forward to playing his 6th season of baseball in the spring and does a great job.  He loves to read and plays games of any kind. 

I, Priscilla, am so blessed to be a stay at home mom and care for these blessings.  Making the decision to quit Pampered Chef at the end of the last year after a 8 year run of it was a good move for our family.  After Lydia was born, I went from watching 5 extra children on a part-time basis to only watching a sweet little guy whom I have had since he was about 4 months old.  My days are full and busy but I don’t think I’d want it any other way (most days anyways).

Randy is starting his 12th year with MSD.  He stays busy estimating heating and air ventilation systems at his day job and has gotten into many side projects this past year including helping finish a basement.  His talents are many and being such a great handyman, much of his free time is spent on projects, whether here at home or for a friend or family member. 

We have been attending The First Baptist Church of Vandalia for 2 years, come January.  Attending Sunday morning and most Sunday evenings and also Bible Study on Wednesday nights, with the kids being active in Awanas, has allowed us to encounter so many additional blessings in our lives.  We are striving for a closer relationship with Christ, not only as individuals, but also as a family.  Knowing that Christ’s return is approaching and could be any day, we pray that we can impact those in our life with the message of His saving grace.  Within the last two weeks, we were blessed with a 97 Dodge Caravan, meeting our need for a vehicle that accommodates us all safely.  We are very grateful to have met these individuals who have 7 children of their own and know that God has used them to strengthen our faith in Him.

We ask that you take a moment to reflect on your blessings and remember that Jesus’s birthday is the reason for Christmas.  May you find the greatest gift that you can give Him is your heart.  We are blessed to have you in our lives, whether it’s an every day occurence or a casual one and pray for you when you come to mind.  Blessings to you and your family as we celebrate a Merry Christmas!

Heaven is For Real by Todd Burpo and Lynn Vincent

An amazing story that is a great read for all ages. This book gives the encounter of a young child who tells his story over a period of years about Heaven. The details that he gives makes one know that Heaven IS FOR REAL!! Although it begins slow and the father (Todd Burpo) who is one of the authors, retells the events leading up to the time in which the child has his experience in Heaven, the images and stories retold are fascinating. The experiences in which Colton experienced gives one goosebumps and I walked away knowing that I want to make sure I make it to Heaven.

Having read this and then passing it along to several individuals I highly recommend it. If you are a non-believer or someone that doubts there is a Heaven, this will at the very least make you think twice about your feelings on it. In no way did I think it was preachy or did it try and persuade you, but it did give you a WOW factor – knowing that a 4 year old experienced this encounter. This child vividly recounts many things that one could never explain or know had they not experienced it first hand.

Grab a copy and take a read for yourself.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

Let’s Do Lunch by Roger Troy Wilson

Eating all the Calories and Carbs you want to lose weight! That caption alone would make a chronic dieter want to pick this book up and read it. I am only 36 years of age and had not found out yet that I was pregnant when I starting reading this book. It was inspiring to hear the stories of people like the author who had not only lost huge amounts of weight but also was craving free and had kept the weight off, even after many years.

After getting midway through the book and finding out that I was expecting it was a bit slower for me to read as it didn’t have the same urgency that I had when I first saw it. BUT it did have lots of ideas and concrete ways in which one can lose weight and keep it off. The recipes are kitchen friendly (not exotic with unusual staples) and he has diet plans to follow along with a website that boast other people’s success with applying the techiniques introduced in this book.

A good read especially for that individual who has exhausted all the other diet plans! I recommend it and will be reading it again to refresh myself and lose my postbaby weight.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Merry Christmas – A family letter for you

Dear Friends & Family,

Greetings to you as we wrap up the year of 2010!  Things have been busy here at the Adkins’ household this past year.  Here is a glimpse of what our lives held this past year.

Randy is going into his 11^th year at Mechanical Systems of Dayton.  He is an estimator for the company and has had some great success in pulling in jobs for them this year.  We are very thankful that he enjoys his job and that it is going well.  He still enjoys doing artwork and has been approached by several people to illustrate books, draw for murals and many other opportunities that use his God-given talents. 

As many of you know we bought a foreclosed house on Dec. 12th that required much work.  We had to gut the entire house in a matter of a few weeks to make it livable.  We moved in on December 31^st, and it is now a very nice home thanks to so many of our great family and friends who helped us make it happen in time.  We are very appreciative of the additional space as we went from 1026 sq. ft. to 1846 sq. ft.  It took quite a team to pull it together and many long hours but we made it and have enjoyed making it a home. 

Priscilla has decided to give up her 8-year long run as being a Pampered Chef Consultant and will be able to focus on raising the children along with caring for other children throughout the week.  We are also expecting another addition to our family by July 1, 2011, as she is currently 13 weeks pregnant.

Nathaniel is now in the 4^th grade and still excels at Math and Science.  He does well in school and enjoys learning.  He played ball this year and did well, his team winning the championship.  He seems to really enjoy this sport and will playing again in the spring.  At age 9 ½, he is about 5 ft. tall.  His sensitivity to things comes out often as he is a well-mannered child and does well at caring about those around him.

Isaiah is our tenderhearted 7 ½ years old who is quick to give hugs and love on the little ones.  He is in 2^nd grade and doing well.  A shining moment for us as parents came in July when Isaiah announced that he wanted to become a Christian.  I asked him if he knew what being a Christian was and he said NO.  I explained to him that it was giving your life over to Jesus and asking him into your heart – Accepting that HE was Lord, Believing that HE died on the cross, and Confessing your sins to Him.  It also meant making a decision to follow Christ and choosing to live a life pleasing to Christ.  He was very serious that this was a decision that he wanted to do.  We were driving at the time and I asked him if he wanted to pray right then or when we got home, he wanted to wait until we got home.

When we got home, he and I prayed and asked Jesus to forgive his sins and to help him make decisions that would not only bring him closer to Christ (like reading his Bible and praying) but also that he could be an example to others for Christ.  It is absolutely amazing of the change in this child.  He had gotten in trouble the week’s prior in school and notes sent home.  From that day forward, he was a different kid.  The teacher was amazed even and said that Isaiah was a different student.  It was a difference that others seen. 

Our little Sarah – dubbed “Daddy’s Princess” – is now 4 ½ and is quite the entertainer.  She is quite the nurturer and loves to tend to anyone that may need special attention.  She is quick to offer assistance and thrives on her independence.  She loves to dance and “pin” around and is quite quick to let anyone know that she has talent to dance and that she needs him or her to watch.  She is great at helping out although since we have started the marble system wants to earn a marble for anything she assists with.  She is constantly singing and chatting – very much girl, but also ready to defend herself should the boys try to cross the line.

And Silas – going to be 3 on the 27^th of Dec. – is quite busy.  Always on the go!  He is constantly keeping us busy either cleaning up his messes or keeping him from making them.  He tries to be one of the older kids and do things himself which doesn’t always produce positive results.  One great joy of his is playing in the water.  He loves to fill things up with water and dump them into other things, no matter if they have holes, don’t get water, or even need water.  He is doing well socially as at the beginning of the year it was difficult to get him to separate himself from me for even a brief period of time but now he goes to Sunday School by himself to play with his friends for several hours.

So life has been busy this past year in the Adkins’ household and we only look for the pace to pick up as our children mature in a variety of ways.  We are very thankful that we have God in our lives to help us lead our children in the right direction and pray that he will continue to bless our efforts as we strive for the ultimate goal of Heaven.  We know that His return is fast approaching.  We ask that if you don’t know Christ as your personal Savior that you start a relationship with Him today.  HE is the reason for Christmas  – the gifts and all the holiday trimmings get us sidetracked that without Him coming as a babe in a manger and dying on the cross for our sins, we could have no eternal life.  Choose LIFE – eternal life – so that you too can be ready when He returns.

Merry CHRISTmas and Happy New Year!

The Adkins

Dec. 23, 2010

Review of Wild At Heart by John Eldredge

I found this book to be somewhat enlighting as I have read many books about men and this seemed to be a bit different. It was enlightening because it discussed how men need to be able to be wild – to be able to let their masculinity show. It doesn’t serve a man well to be pinned down and not able to allow the inner self to be shown.

The author John Eldredge brought out the point that many times us as women do not want our men to be dangerous. We want them to be courageous but not to do anything that might cause us concern. Whereas the man needs to have the risk taking and to be able to show that he is MAN and able to do it.

I have several pages marked in the book that really impressed me and that I want to go back and review on a deeper level in my own marriage to see what kind of take my husband has on it.

Thank you BookSneeze for allowing me to review this book at no cost!

Merry Christmas from the Adkins family

Dear Friends & Family,

Here we are this year admist the busy season – even busier than normal.  We have FINALLY gotten a house after having sold ours in August.  We have been renting the house, that we have lived in for the past 6 ½ years, from the individual who bought it.  We purchased a bank owned house just this past Monday in which was totally trashed and needed much work to say the least.  Several of our friends and family has been a great blessing to us at this time as we push to be in it by Dec. 31^st. 

Randy has been very busy this year with work at MSD of whom he has been with for the past 10 years.  He also does artwork for his sister’s company on the side.  Along with these he has managed to do 2 murals this year for a consignment shop and another for a church.  He does wonderful and is extremely talented.  His downtime involves collecting corvettes and keeping up with the Dallas Cowboys or doing those never-ending fixes around the house.

I have been busy just keeping up with the kids but have been able to squeeze in some travel this year.  I was able to go to Reno, NV to see my sister April with Silas in tow back in February.  We then traveled to Hollywood, CA with her  – it was great to get to visit with her and to get a break somewhat from my daily routine.  I was then also able to fly to Maryland to see my other sister Elizabeth for a few days – again with Silas in tow and then we caught a ride back with a friend who lives here in Huber.  I still sell Pampered Chef although I don’t do it as much as I used to – I am ok with that.

Nathaniel celebrated his 8^th birthday this year at Disney World.  We were able to visit Florida with one of Randy’s cousin’s who housed us for several days.  Disney offered the free Birthday pass so we took advantage of this as Sarah and Silas were also able to get in free.  WooHoo!  Nathaniel played ball in the spring and shows great skill at it.  He enjoys this immensely.  He also was able to take part in a couple swim lessons and excelled at this also.  He does well in the 3^rd grade and was asked to be a Student Leader from his class.  He loves to play his Dsi and the Wii. 

Isaiah celebrated his 6^th birthday this year.  He started the 1^st grade and is doing well there.  He seems to make friends easily and has the girls wrapped around his fingers.  He enjoys playing with Lincoln Logs and cars and has great creativity and seems to have the same great creative qualities as his dad.  Isaiah too was able to take swim lessons and enjoyed it greatly.  He also participated in karate classes and seemed to really like it.  In August he had his tonsils and adnoids removed and tubes put in his ears.  That was a challenge but it seems to have helped his ear infections that he was having.

Little Sarah – a.k.a. Little Mama turned 3 in August, in which she talks about her birthday still!  She takes care of Silas and makes sure that he stays out of trouble.  She is learning her colors and numbers and loves to color and watch Dora, Wonder Pets, or Max & Ruby.  She keeps everyone in line and totally nutures us all. She does great at helping out and wants to be a part of everything that anyone is doing.  She is definitely Daddy’s little princess.

Little Silas turns 2 on Dec. 27^th.  He is so sweet and has recently become our little echoer.  He will say about anything that you say.  He is definitely mama’s baby boy.  He is pretty easy going and loves to try to join in with the bigger ones.  He keeps me busy for sure with the tornados that he loves to create as he tears through the house.  But for a little guy he is a great listener and makes a great companion for Sarah as she has him trained to be her puppy or to help her when playing house.

We hope that you all have had a great year.  May God richly bless you and your family as we remember what this season is all about.  It started with a baby in a manager but doesn’t end there – he went to the cross to die for our sins so that if we confess our sins we can join him in Heaven and have Christmas everyday! 

Merry Christmas – with Love from,

Randy, Priscilla, Nathaniel, Isaiah, Sarah and Silas Adkins

My journey with pneumonia

Wow!  What a ride life can sometimes bring.  A couple weeks ago I went to the doctor after not feeling good for about 4 days.  I had no voice and was not breathing full breaths of air.  I was told that I was very sick!  I had pneumonia and larynigitis.  The doctor called my husband and told him he needed to take off work and I was to be on total bed rest.  Yeah right!  Isaiah was at the end of his treatment of pneumonia and Sarah & Silas had some ear troubles going on along with not feeling well.  Randy and Nathaniel seemed to be the only “healthy” ones in the house.  So of course I went home and went to bed (for a little bit).  On Friday after getting showered and dressed for the day – had a spell where I couldn’t catch a full breath.  It was scary!  We threw the kids in the van and Randy took me to the hospital.  There they gave me a breathing treatment and pumped me with an IV of antibiotics along with some oral antibiotics.  I was released after xrays and being told I defnitely had pneumonia. 

So back at home – trying to stay in bed and rest.  My thoughts are intense as the doctor had told Randy that this could be lethal if it was not taken care of.  So I immediately think of Ashley and what her thoughts might have been knowing that she was so sick but didn’t have the engery to speak.  I think of all the things that I needed to do yet.  In talking to my sister Elizabeth – she tells me that maybe God brought me to this place so that I could slow down and listen.  Of course, we all need to take the time to listen to what God has to say to us.  We get so caught up in living and going through the motions of the mundane things that we forget to focus on what is truly important.

Thinking about what I took away from this experience – I realize that I want to teach my children more bible verses.  They are what I drew on during this time.  I remember learning scripture in Sunday School while I was younger and how it has stuck with me.  It is so very important because in the last days when we are stripped away of all that we have of physical Christianity we still have those verses that are embedded in our heart.

A couple verses that really stuck out to me was “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6.  This verse made me think that just because I was down I needed to trust that he was in control and knew I was where I needed to be.  I get wrapped up in trying to control my world around me and sometimes get out of line that HE is truly in control and I need to just trust him to take care of those things that I feel I need to care for.  It allowed me to realize that there are people out there that want to help and because I want to take on the “Shera” attitude it puts them off wanting to step in.  Being down humbled me, there wasn’t a meal that we missed, it didn’t take me to make sure that everyone got fed.  The church people and family stepped in and brought dinner to our house so that I didn’t have that worry.  Again, that brings another verse  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God”  Philippians 4:6.  I couldn’t talk above a whisper and knew that with laying there I had all the time to worry – worry about how the kids were going to do with me not being up and around to make sure that they did what they were supposed to ( b/c I work on schedule and want them to eat around a certain time and go to bed at a certain time etc. as that is how I function).  But I was shown that flexibility is something that I need to work on.  It doesn’t matter if they went to bed 10 minutes later than usual – they made it there.  If they didn’t eat right at 5:00, there may have been a meltdown but it wasn’t going to kill them.  I laid there and prayed much, knowing that God had it under control and he knows our hearts desires.  I couldn’t truly worry about the house closing and getting things packed to move and worry about where we were going to move to because it didn’t accomplish anything and if I just prayed I felt that I was taking it to God and moving it out of my “worry box” and into his “I care about you and will work this out for you box”.  I was giving him back control from where I was trying to take it and make it work with my feeble abilities.  And always when I really need to hear that I can’t do it on my own these words play in my head.

“The battle’s not mine,” said Little David,
“Lord, it’s Thine, I’m in Your favor.
I’m giving it all to You, I knew not what to do.
I’m so glad You let me see, You’re really all that I need.
For the battle’s not mine, I give it to You, Lord, it’s Thine.”

1. Little David looked so small, Goliath looked so tall,
The odds were just too high for Little David.
So he shook off all of his load for with the power of God he was bold,
He said, “The battle’s not mine, I give it to You, Lord, it’s Thine.”

CHORUS:

2. A Little David he stood tall, now Goliath seemed so small,
Sweet victory had reigned for Little David.
He gave the battle to One with a record for getting things done,
He said, “The battle’s not mine, I give it to You, Lord, it’s Thine.”

These verses and the song I feel are God speaking to me in his ever gentle way reminding me that he cares for Me and wants the best for me.  I just have to take these lessons and apply them to my life. 

I went back to the hospital last Saturday evening because I still didn’t feel very good and was having trouble breathing deep and constant rib/back pain.  I finally had my voice back after a week and some days of not being able to talk (sometimes God teaches us that listening is better than talking and they had xrays that were taken a week after my initial diagnosis – it showed that I still had pneumonia, it was receeding but still there.  I was put on another antibiotic and some given pain medication to help with the rib/back discomfort.  They had said that had I been an older person I would have been put in the hospital for sure and may not have made it b/c of the level of pneumonia.  That is an awakening to know that your life can be snuffed out without you having time to prepare for death in the sense of getting things in order.  To know that I have been given more opportunity to “let my light so shine” and to teach my children the scriptures, to wrap them in the prescense of God was so more important than struggling with where we are going to live and how to make sure that the kids school supplies were ready.  All that is meaningless because it is our destination that matters – going to Heaven.  The rest is something that I can leave in the hands of an Almighty God because he is in control.

An update:

This finds me feeling much better and back on the road to recovery.  The boys have started school here in Huber where they attended last year.  We have closed on our house that we are living in and have a contract on one in Vandalia .  We will move the boys to that school when we get settled in the house fully.  I only have 1 box packed but know that it will get done.  I just have to focus on the important things and the rest will fall into place.  Keep us in your prayers as we undertake this moving process.  The house that we are hoping to buy requires lots of updates but will be quite sufficient in space for our family.  Thank you for your prayers in my recovery.  Isaiah will be going for his tonsillectomy, ear tubes and adnoid removal on Wed. and will be out for 8-10 days.  We pray that this will be a smooth process.

My emotional outburst

So here I am in a rare moment of solitude.  Drowning in a sea of thoughts of what I want to fix in my life and how to go about it.  Struggling with life issues and how to move past my failures as a parent, wife, sister, daughter and friend.  How do you heal a broken spirit and move past the failures and regrets?  Anger has gotten in the way in the past few days only to complicate the already drug down feeling that I fight moving past.  If someone could see into my soul they would find one that so wants to be loved so fully and adored, yet I know that I block that by my “shera” attitude that is only a mask of what I really feel.  To really search and find me is difficult.  I, at times can’t seem to find a place in life that I relish in all aspects of true happiness.  Of course my upbringing directs me back to God.  He is the one to turn too.  It makes sense.  He is the one that created you and that can bring you peace that is inside and outside.  Yet, to truly find that in the busyness of being a mother of 4 and constantly in demand.  There is no time to really just be!  So here I sit trying to sort out my feelings amongst something that I enjoy – writing.  It seems as though I can put my feelings on paper much more than I can try and explain them in conversation.

I have really struggled these past few days and knowing that I wear my emotions on me like a heavy cloak makes it difficult to be around people and try to mask what I am feeling.  When I feel – it is deep and oozes out of my pores.  It just seems as though my character and patience has been put to the test this week.  Situation after situation has arisen that I have just had to press down b/c before I can truly think one through here comes another one and so I have come to the place where I need to conquer them. 

Having 4 children is wonderful.  I have always wanted a large family and to me even 4 is not large but that it where it is right now.  It is a situation that I am struggling with more on a personal level as there are several factors involved that hopefully time will take care of.  But having 4 children also presents demands in maybe more levels than 1 or 2 children do.  I have pretty independent children as Nathaniel is the biggest help in so many ways.  Being only 2 weeks away from being 8 – he is truly a blessing and is there to lend me a hand.  He has noticed that I am struggling with my emotions and attitude and has made a point of coming up and telling me that he loves me.  Isaiah has a love all his own as he is in constant protection of the little ones.  He is the first to make sure that they get on the slide and go down without falling and if they do fall – he is right there to pick them up and brush them off.   He is facing the ENT this week.  He has had strep throat and double ear infections 4 times in the past 6 months.  They are talking about having tubes put in his ears.  Not only is the cost of this troubling but all the details going into getting it to take place and just all the unknowns.

Sarah is a little me and is a mother to Silas.  Either wiping his nose or pulling him out of something she thinks he ought not be in.  She is to be 3 in August and there is the time factor for me of weaning.  I feel as though she is ready but struggle with being done with it and being down to 1 child nursing.  I have been nursing for almost 8 years!  2 1/2 years of that has been with 2 children nursing at the same time.  I feel a loss.  Then there is the potty training.  I have attempted it several times and this past week resulted in her flushing her panties down the toilet of course with Silas watching.  And of course Silas – my precious child whom I adore.  He is a very busy child and constantly on the go.  But it is taxing at time as last night from 2 a.m. to around 3:30 he was climbing across my head and crying and just didn’t want to lay down and sleep.  This makes for a very long day.

I do love my children dearly but being a stay at home mom requires hands on care 24 hours a day.  There are no breaks for me and I struggle with that sometimes of how to split my time between being a GOOD mother and still being a GOOD wife and taking time for me.  I understand that all women go through this.  I am just really at odds with myself on how to juggle them.  So I am blogging to try and get my feelings out there and maybe pull myself out of the spiral that I feel I’m in.

My biggest hurt in life right now is the lack of appreciation and love that I feel.  I feel as though I accomplish alot in a single day and do my best to help people out with even the smallest of wants or needs.  It just isn’t enough.  Yes, a thank you is nice.  But it is the lack in my spirit as I feel as though I still am not important enough.  Individuals just not having the care for people anymore.  What happened to the common courtesy of RSVPing?  Why would I want to bother inviting you if you can’t let me know whether you are coming or not?  Then you go to a party and the child gives you a thank you – what happened to the art of writing a note of appreciation – going that second step to let people know you didn’t just take the easy way out and just say thank you.  Maybe its me – and its never crossed your mind.  But I do know that should you get a card in the mail – you think wow – that was nice! Why not send someone a card just because they are special and mean something to you?  Life is so busy and we tend to not make time for those who matter most.  Why does life have to be a constant whirlwind of activities and then you want to try and plug me in where you see fit?  Can’t you take the time to schedule in a visit or call and set up a time that works for the both of us?

It has been told before that we are more polite to people that we don’t know than we are to those we truly care for.  Why is it so difficult to say thank you to the one who cooks you dinner every night (ok, or every other) – and then to carry your dishes to the dishwasher or clear the table – again the second mile is the one that really counts (at least w/me).  Do you know that I just managed to cook dinner amongst children that just woke up from a nap, intercepting fights and phone calls and now ready to just throw in the towel and go take a nap?!

I am more of a deep thinker and thus many of the feelings that maybe no one has ever dealt with before.  I find forgiveness being one of those things.  I have found forgiveness and been shown forgiveness yet there are so many that are in the world and even those in the Christian realm whom I find that lack the true forgiveness of Christ.  I am sure that there are some areas in my life too in which I lack the full forgiveness but I am searching to find that.  It is truly frustrating to me that people hold onto hurts that were dealt them years ago.  People really do change!  If only we as humans would give them room to grow in Christ and pray for them instead of hold their past against them.  I agree some cautions need to be made but if we don’t have Faith that Christ will protect those we love – how can we show the love of Christ that he so freely has shown us.

And then there is death.  I have really lived in a world in which it seemed as though I just lost Ashley that she wasn’t really gone.  Yet after talking to a family member of hers and seeing the depth of brokeness realize its true.  It is crushing!  It breaks my heart that someone has to go through so much grief.  It then snowballs….the loss of my babies 4 years ago.  My aunt losing her daughter at age 34.  How much she grieved.  Just knowing that you can’t fix any of the hurt, you can’t take it away.  Time does heal but the loss is very vivid especially at occasions where their loss is more prominent.  All of these issues compounded have led me to a broken spirit in which I have to piece together and make a conscious decision to let them go and do my best to be the best that I can be.  The anger that I have felt has not been justified.  This is life and I have to choose to make the most of it.  It would just be nice to know that you are loved and appreciated along the way so that the flowers at your funeral aren’t just an empty reminder to people that you forgot to say thank you or I love you to those you truly love and appreciate. 

So if you want to share with me what you love and admire, it would be quite helpful knowing that there are people out there that can make your day a little brighter.

An amazing woman

Yes, I am talking about my mother.  I find that with Mother’s Day coming is a fine day to tell you about what a wonderful individual Beth Shade is!  Of course, many of you reading this already know.  But don’t stop reading because it may help you love her even more.

I was adopted at the age of………ok, no – she gave birth to me and as my brother proclaimed on my last birthday – I robbed him of his only child status.  Mom went on to have 3 more of us girls.  Life was very busy in our household as she had all of us and our activities, she was Dad’s right hand woman whether it was calling on the church people with him or changing the oil.  Mom just jumped in where she was needed.  She still does that!

Mom comes to my house usually 2 days a week – yes, I am very blessed but don’t be jealous of me yet – wait until I get through this paragraph.  She comes to visit and gets a little more than what she may have baragained for.  I give her the privilege of mopping my kitchen floor, cleaning my bathroom and watching my kids.  You know that tasks that at times seem mundane and not so glorifying.  She enjoys it – she said that – not me!  I am very appreciative of it.  So much I wanted you all to know that my house is not clean b/c of me – its my mother!  She makes my life easier b/c she knows the challenges of raising little rambuctious soldiers and a little princess and how busy times and unappreciative the mundane tasks are.

Ok, so now you can be jealous….but I have more.

My mother is always busy – she likes being busy.  I am sure that her tires on her car and the cell phone could tell a number of stories that we don’t know about.  The things that she does for other people with them not knowing much of the time.  She is of value.  I am so very appreciative of my mother and who she is.  She is not the woman that raised me – she has definitely matured and has way surpassed her.  She doesn’t believe that spanking is as effective today  – I wish she would have found that out 34 years ago!  I would have been wild and on my 1st tattoo and piercing!  Not really……

Anyways – I wanted to share a piece of my mother with you all and let it be publicly known that I appreciate her.  She is very dear to me and I couldn’t have asked God for a better mother – he gave me the one that was just right for ME!

I love you Mama!

Life is short

I recently had a close friend pass away unexpectedly at the age of 25.  Her name was Ashley Wilson Hofele and she left behind a 2 1/2 year old and a husband of 3 years.  It has impacted me in a way that I hope changes me forever! 

Finding words to express the void that I fill and what I want to say is difficult.  Ashley and I spent much time together especially during the younger years of my older boys.  She would come and get them just because she liked hanging out with them.  During her time of chemo and many doctor appointments, she would invite me to go along and we would hang out.  It was always a fun time – never really focused on the Lupus that her body carried.  I remember we would leave the appointment and she would call a series of people to let them know what the doctor said.  I would hear it repeated many times and think – geez, if this was me I would call 2 people and tell them, and that would be it.  She was just open like that. 

But yet, I was still surprised – amazed really, at the turnout at her viewing.  Around 1500 people.  That is alot of lives that she touched in 25 years!  People waited for 2 + hours to visit the family and view the body.  It impacted me in a way of how I reach out to others.  Have I touched lives in a profound way that they will want to reach out to my family in letting them know how special I was?  Do people see Jesus in me?  No one is perfect – Ashley and I had moments of disagreements but with all due her – she was always helping someone in some way or another.  No one that knew her could call her selfish.  Her parents are the same way……generous beyond measure.  My life has been touched by knowing Ashley and having been her friend.  I can remember countless conversations of her applauding me as to so many things.  She was a great encourager and uplifting.  I so miss that.

My heart is still grieving the loss of Ashley – I can’t seem to wrap my mind around never talking to her again in person.  The stamina and ability to function that the Wilson Family and Jesse have shown is amazing and God-given.  They have comforted me during this sadness – as I struggle to find the words to comfort them.  Death is difficult and brings so much into focus and then when someone at a young age passes and unexpectedly, it brings a mirage of feelings into perspective.

My style is not to preach at people for them to find the Lord.  I find that living a life that is pleasing to God can speak volumes.  I have family members and friends that have displaced God  – not making him a priority.  If this one thing doesn’t speak volumes  – GOD is in control – you might want to check your pulse and make sure your still living.  He can surely take you out whether you are ready to go or not and not anyone or anything can save you when your number is called.  That is powerful!  I know that I want to be ready to go to Heaven so that any given moment I am called, I am ready.

There are people that are given wake up calls – cancer, a health issue, death of a loved one and it doesn’t seem to shake them.  So let this be a warning that God just may not give you another chance and just take you. 

Again – I really didn’t mean to preach – I have a jumble of thoughts but wanted to get out what was on my heart.  I feel a void with Ashley gone and hug my children a little tighter and pray constantly!  This being said – don’t wait to let your loved ones know that you love them.  Honor them, encourage them.  Let them know just how important they are to you.  I want to value people in my life not things. 

Much love to all who reads this.  I will pray that you find the peace that satisfies your soul.